Funny Story

One morning about 4 this past week I couldn't sleep and turned on the tv (I am at work at this time, but I am allowed some sleep).I started to watch a Gaither special and for some unkown reason in the dead of night I was reminded of one of the most embarrassing moments of my life! I knew it was just too good not to share so here goes.

When I was married, my wife just absolutely loved those Gaither videos, so in my vain efforts to please her I took her to Knoxville to the Thompson Bowling Arena to see them. Well as we hit Knoxville I began to become more aware of the the fact that I must find a restroom or I would miss the concert and my wife would kill me due to moisture issues. (do ya understand what I am telling you here? Ssshhhh come closer I am going to whisper it to you as it is so crude......I had to go peepee). I am so sorry I know it is so vulgar, but the truth is the truth. I mean it was bad it was an emergency I thought I was literally going to bust. It was so bad I undid my pants in hope to relieve enough pressure that it would hold off. Now being in a big city and not knowing where anything is is bad enough (this was before GPS), but to have to go potty and not know where a bathroom is is even worse, and I knew I just knew if I had an accident my wife would never speak to me again and I was right cause she doesn't speak to me now over far less. Finally I spotted a sign for a restaurant and all restaureants I have ever been in have bathrooms so I thought I had found my oasis in the desert, oh don't mention water right now oops sorry. So I high tailed it in that parking lot and pulled around to the front. I didn't park I stopped right in front of the doors adn told Teresa to just keep circling till I come out and leaped out of the car forgetting or ignoring the fact that I had previously unbottoned them to relieve the pressure, but I was quickly reminded of this fact when I got around to the back of the car and the huge line of people waiting to get in and was in shock at my urgency saw my pants fall to my ankles!!! A roar of laughter filled my ears as a breeze of humiliation whipped at my knees. I quickly pulled them up and cut through everyone in the line to get to the restroom where I just barely made it in time, but now I had to go face this crowd who obviously by now knew that this fat boy couldn't hold his water, but I didn't care with the same urgency I cut my way back through them because now Teresa was almost late for her concert and she would make that laughing squad of strangers seem liek the welcoming committee on the Love Boat if I made her miss one note!